I am shivering in a rented flat.
I love this flat, because it’s so much better than other rented accommodation I have lived in. It’s cheap for its (excellent) location, and the kitchen in particular is incredibly generous, which is important to someone for whom food means so much. But the boiler keeps breaking, and I don’t have central heating, and the rooms are so tiny that the only place I could put my replacement sofa (I finally replaced my broken sofa!) was right in front of the only storage heater in the main room, which is… less than ideal. And this April has been a chilly one so far.
I turned 29 this year, and I’ve started to have the kinds of thoughts that I guess inevitably arrive when you’re approaching 30: how do I transition from my 20s life to that of a Real Adult? How and when will I have a child? Will I ever own a home?
Today’s Meditation is about “Dreaming of a home of your very own”, and takes the form of a jigsaw that forms a child-like drawing, the kind we’ve all drawn, of a house with a roof and a chimney and windows and a door. And honestly, it made my heart hurt to see this innocent dream of a future home laid out like this. Your reward is a more advanced version: a painting of a house in the woods, glowing with warmth, its occupant defying the traditional pastoral ideals by sitting on their front porch with a laptop.
I don’t think I would want to live in the woods. But I would like to live somewhere warm, and quiet, and mine.